(Tuiska)

I do not know how you have done... But ... In smoway, somehow You have returned to me... Not really you ... But there is your magic in what happened ... And I feel you so close to me that my heart bursts of joy ... you sent me a friend of your same colour ... I know you have make me see her on a carpet of snow ... And this was 'cause you want that I was sure that she's a gidt from you to me. ... She Always goes in thaose places that you loved ... And Milla ... Milla only wants to play with her own kittens... and now she plays with her! I want you to know that your gift is more pleasing than anything else ... I want you to know that I feel that my affection for you is endless ... I want you to know that you find a thousand ways to make me realize that I'll always love you... My thanks for this sweet gift Duba: a tender and warm snowflake that you have sent to keep warm my heart ...

Three years ... Three years have gone by... Dec. the 6th ... my sweet duba ... I get the chills just thinking in my mind to December 6 ... I wonder to erase 6 dec. from teh calendar!... But It will be not useful to erase the pain . So I can only sau that I ll love you so much for ever and ever and this will not change!... I would not feel so sad these days ... I would like to remember only the most beautiful things we did together... But pain is part of our history and everything that can help me to remember and recall the emotions of having you close to me is welcome .... I will go to donate my blood today t.. Do not go to work today ... So I can think about you... I want to cry without hide myself, today...I will give blood in your name . Hoping to be able to help someone with my gesture ... Able to do what I could not do for you ... But you know that I would have done everything if only there had been an opportunity .... Affectionately Taty.

I dreamed to dream last night and in dreams you were there.... You were lying, backed to the wall of the kitchen, in the place where the heating pipelines pass by heating and the floor is always warm ... You liked so much that place ... I do not know how, but in the dream I realized that I was dreaming ... I realized that everything could vanish in a flash and I tried to come close to you but I was still afraid to wake up before having touched you... You had a tender face... as you have always had... But you were so calm and smiling ... While expecting that I already approaching you were purring... I have always approached soflty with the fear of not reach ... But I made ... My hands trembled touching you , ah that wonderful sensation of a time ... Duba dear, you were again close to me and I could touch your fur... I was lying on the ground and I plunged my face in your white fur ... Yes, to hear your scent of candy cane ... I felt so immensely happy ... Then in the dream I woke up and I was still in front of the entrance of the kitchen but you weren't therei ... But there was still your perfume ... It was as if I had to pass by two dreams, to see you and my mind for a while before really wake up and not find you ... Yes, because the pain of your absence is still so strong! My thanks little one , back to me soon, I need you so much. A kiss yours Taty

I am following the same road to return home, as two years ago ... Two years ago on this day, December 5, back at home with you for the last time ... I could not singing your songs ...

... A knot in my throat that wanted to comeout, I wanted but could not dissolve it because I did't want you to hear my sadness and my immense fear ... But you feel it the same and you were so quiet, lying without forces, but with your little heart that continued to beat for me ...

my Sweet Duba

I am sure that a knife thrust down in my stomach, would have done less painful than the evil words, cold and terrible, of who, without realising our love, told me me to feel lucky because I could choose not to make you suffer more ... I would not ever want you to suffer, I have just wanted to keep you with me forever

You came to me on one April night..., how sweet emotion Duba ...so small and already full of love,I was sure ... I have won in that moment .. How much magic that night, a magic that is no longer evaporated! It is not evaporated even when you put the wings I think you're with me everywhere .. And you have found a new magic for caress me like touching me in the face with snowflakes in winter ... But you always remain with me ... All year! In the winter, as in summer, with rain or with sun, always!

We're almost on December 6, 2003, nearly nearly two years hase gone by, almostI can't believe it ... How many things have happened since then .. I remember the Christmas tree, and yor funny face looking at !I look around and I search your magic in everything... I Just wanna be able to cast a magic spell to bring you again in my arms!In these days when I feel sad because I'm thinking about your suffering I continue asking me if I have made the right choice, I ask my sweet duba, come and meet me in dreams, play with me make me feel that you are here. .. A kiss!

I know that if you could talk you would say me "don't be sad !"....With your blue eyes you would say me 'I am here, I don't ever go! " So I know that you are always with me, and when I feel too sad and I just only want to cry, I bite my lips, to try not to do it.... I know that you feel down for me when You see me sad. But I feel strong pain in your absence! ..... I would have done everything to save you and even when there was nothing more to do I wanted to do not let you go… Forgive me! Even when you were dying you were my strenght, you were the wing between my wings!! I know that I can't explain my love for you, so you know well that the bond is still among us… I'm sorry for the oain you had suffered, but I just want to keep you with me...When I returned home, after you had forever closed your blue eyes, even if I knew that you weren't there, was too much sad not find you, I closed the room where you loved to stay to not feel your absence (has been closed for a month) Then I made some wash your things and gave out on the balcony, where we were often together in the sun… there was a strong wind, my dear duba, perhaps it were you...I want to embrace… then I found on your cover a tuft of your hair, I approached it to my face, I closed it in the hand and then I opened the fist and said "Go Duba, go where you can be happy". .. The tuft was raised by my hand, took a turn in front of my nose and then stopped on the balcony, next to my feet… I cried so much, but I realized that I would let you go … butI'm sure you know all these things you know … already.

Dear Duba, think about people that, maybe without having ever known us, read these lines that I write to you ... Maybe they'll think I'm crazy for real; ... But I think that in life we often hear some songs that we like...we don't wonder why the singer has wrote them or for whom...we like only them at all...

For me, write here for you in somehow "how to write a song" to keep you in these words and bring you here by my side... .. Saturday I heard a song ... I don't know exactly the words but it made me think to you and me. Somewhat like this "is still in the air the smell of your perfume sweet and soft, like tonight, when you are no longer here ... and this evening in bed I'll put some more cover because It's too much I without you here ...and It's sad, I know but sadness can be put all inside a song that I can sing everytime I want to hear from you, everytime I want to feel you , everytime I want to feel you're still mine... has been wonderful, it was wonderful " And I think it has been wonderful...a big kiss

They are doing a new advertising on television to advertise a new fish homogenized . It's new...it wasn't yet been created when you were with me...and I cannot think about that maybe you would have liked it.... .... I miss you, so much

I can't forget your eyes even when you were no longer able to see,

I can not forget the elegance of your suffering,

even if you tried to make me feel bad, hiding it..

I'm sure you eated for me to make me feel better....

sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice, but you still today, in many different ways make me feel sure, it was the right path.

And that was the right thing to do ...

Duba, I know I'm sayong all the same things... But I miss from crazy,

I miss you very much

" I sent you, a day , in a place where there is no pain,

Not because you're not loved,

But because I loved you too much for forcing you to remain "

This morning when I went to work I closed my eyes to think about your perfume .. you smell like candy cane ... ... I was sad because sometimes I don't remember every feeling of when you were in my arms... and then in front of me it was....a... Rainbow ... A huge rainbow that was all a bridge over my head ... I have spoken at length and hoped that no longer goes away ... It stood with me throughout the way ... You have accompanied me all the way ... Thanks for always be with me, I love you my sweet Duba

I know that many people will think I'm exaggerated, someone that I look strange ...but they haven't seen all my tears...Now I would like to remember only the times when you were happy, our moments of pampering ... Happy to see you eat ... Chasing a new game or a fly ...

Caressing you on the head and you gave me kisses... Laying in the sun and you were so peaceful and quet ... Duba it doesn't seem to me that more than year has gone by ..I remember like today When I caressed you for the last time ...and Now i Would only to have a chance to keep you again in my arms.

Last night I went to sleep under the blankets

Was cold, I felt some whiskers on the face


I turned around because I thought Cipria had arrived and tries as usually to come under blankets…

But there was no one..

I asked to Manu: "who was on the bed ? "…

He looked at me as if I were crazy and replied

"None"…. I smile… I'm sure were you!

"If tears coul build a stairway,

and memories a lane,

I'd walk right back to heaven,

to bring you back again"